


tell the sun and stars hello for me

by exexlovers



Series: favourites of my own work! [2]
Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Exhaustion, Friendship, HIV/AIDS Crisis, Heavy Angst, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, i’m sorry!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26316880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exexlovers/pseuds/exexlovers
Summary: 'the first time whizzer kissed him, marvin thought,take me. i’m ready.he didn’t think it would go the other way around.'⤷ Having the love of your life in the hospital is enough of a burden. Marvin gets worse news.
Relationships: Dr. Charlotte & Marvin (Falsettos), Jason & Marvin (Falsettos), Jason & Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Marvin & Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Trina/Mendel Weisenbachfeld, Whizzer Brown/Marvin
Series: favourites of my own work! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2058351
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	tell the sun and stars hello for me

**Author's Note:**

> me vs writing. that’s it that’s the authors note.
> 
> (idk where this angst came from. ??????)

The first time Whizzer kissed him, Marvin thought, _Take me. I’m ready._

He didn’t think it would go the other way around.

He didn’t want nor expect pink lilies on the dining table to become melted ice chips in a plastic cup. Melted chocolate eyes to turn muddy with ambiguous grief. He had no interest in their warm bed, with the grey fleece blanket and beautiful winter view, becoming an itchy and small hospital cot. 

Yet here they were.

Whizzer’s bed was angled for him to sit up. He stared through the outside window, so immobile and so unforgiving that he may as well have been driving holes through the glass. 

Marvin sat on the cushioned chair to the left of his bed, knees up to his chest. 

He blinked a few times, watched Whizzer, and then said, “The snow is melting.”

Whizzer lowered his head by a millimeter.

“... Okay, well. I’m gonna let you be, honey. See what Jason’s doing in the lobby.” Marvin got up, creaked the door open. “I love you.”

Whizzer looked over without moving his head. “Love you too.”

A smile just barely lifted the corner of Marvin’s mouth. “Good to know you still talk.” he joked. “See you soon.”

“Yeah, see you.”

He closed the door and ran a hand through his hair.

Whizzer had understandably become more quiet and pensive. But so far, today had kind of freaked Marvin out. Charlotte had come in the room early in the morning asking to speak to Whizzer privately. Weird, but sure. 

It’s not like he didn’t know that Whizzer was dying. He knew that was happening. And as much as he tried not to, he tended to bury that fact in his brain.

However, the worst had already been spoken. Marvin couldn’t think of a reason for his boyfriend to be so much more oppressively melancholy than normal.

Heels clicked down the hall. Marvin pushed himself off the wall and glanced over to see Trina.

She stopped walking after making eye contact. “Hi.”

Marvin flicked his eyebrows up and made his way over to her. “Hey. What’s going on?”

“I-I was just coming up to see you guys.” She leaned to look over Marvin’s shoulder at the door. “Is he okay?”

Marvin shrugged. “I guess. Kinda quiet and… ignoring absolutely everything, but he’s fine.”

“Did he tell you what Charlotte told him?”

His heart dropped into his stomach. “No. Do you know?”

“ _Shit_. Nevermind.”

Everything got blurry for a moment. Why would Charlotte tell Whizzer and Trina something so heavy and emotional, but not Marvin? It didn’t make sense to him.

He shook his head a little, like clearing a Magic 8-Ball. “Alright. Um, is Jason down there?”

Trina twisted a lock of her hair. “Yeah. Playing chess with Mendel. Beating him by a landslide.”

Marvin chuckled. “Yeah, Mendel sucks at chess. He somehow has zero pattern recognition.”

They took the elevator back down to the lobby with comments about Jason’s winter break and Mendel’s frustrations at work. Turned the hall with Jason’s bar mitzvah and anxious sighs. Arrived in the waiting room with tentative greeting smiles.

Jason looked up blankly at Marvin, his Walkman on such high volume that the kid probably couldn’t hear shit. Mendel sat two chairs away from Jason, a chess board on the seat between them. 

Marvin scratched his forehead, then put his hands face-down in front of him. “Vibe’s real weird down here. You guys okay?”

Mendel glanced over to Trina. They seemed to have a silent conversation - Trina shook her head minutely, Mendel bit the inside of his cheek and fiddled with the pawn chess piece in his hands.

“I beat Jason in chess and now he won’t talk to me.”

“You’re fucking joking.” Marvin earned a sharp glare from a passing nurse. He abstained from rolling his eyes once she had passed.

“Dunno what the kid wants from me. He teaches me how to win at chess and then gives me the stink eye once I actually win.” 

Marvin nudged Jason’s foot with his own. “This true?” he motioned to Mendel with his head.

Jason pulled his headphones off. “Huh?”

“Mendel says he beat you at chess and now you’re shunning him.”

He shrugged, playing with the foam on the ears of the headphones. “The only person who beats me is you.”

Marvin sat down next to him. “‘Cause I taught you how to play, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so… Mendel beat you because you taught him how to play. Which, hey, is actually a good thing. It means you know chess so well that you can teach people how to win at it.”

“I guess.” Jason’s tone was still stubborn, but a light had come back to his eyes.

Marvin ruffled his hair and looked up at Trina, who smiled at him. 

“Marvin?” A familiar voice to his left.

He looked over to find Charlotte, shoulders tight and clipboard held against her stomach. “Hi.”

“Hey. Come with me, I have to talk to you.”

He glanced around at his family. “Uh, sure. Okay.”

Charlotte led him through a maze of halls. Her expression betrayed nothing but exhaustion and poorly-masked stress.

“Is- Whizzer’s fine, right?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, yeah, he’s okay. This is about you.”

“... Oh-kay.”

They entered a private room with space for nothing more than a desk with a computer and two chairs. Charlotte told him to sit, and gently closed the door.

Marvin’s face felt hot as he picked at his nails. “If it’s about me, like, being here all the time, I’m okay. I took medical leave off work, I have enough money saved, and my apartment is clean. I’ll be all set for a while.”

“No, it’s- it’s not that.” Charlotte sat at the desk, then circled him with her finger. “Though I still think you need to sleep in your own bed, not a hospital chair.”

“Yeah, well…”

“No, it’s, uh… So, unfortunately there’s no way for me to sugarcoat what I have to say.”

Marvin’s ears started ringing. He had a feeling that his suppressed thoughts and questions were about to be confirmed.

“Whizzer’s disease is infectious. We as doctors and scientists have concluded that it is transmitted through bodily fluids. This means that one gay man who is infected with it can pass it on to another gay man through sex without a condom. And since you and Whizzer are grown men that are attracted to each other, I can only assume that this has been an instance.”

“Which means…”

“That I strongly believe you’ve been infected with what Whizzer has.”

Marvin swallowed, fought against stinging eyes. “So… Am I dying, then?” 

“I would have tried to put it more delicately, but it’s very possible, yes.” Charlotte swiped at one eye, almost too quickly to perceive. 

Marvin nodded for a while until a sob ripped through this chest and tears ran from his eyes.

Charlotte made a whimpering sound, then got up and hugged him. Rubbed his back and hummed like she was putting a baby down for a nap.

He cried long enough for his voice to be hoarse when he spoke. “How do we tell everyone?”

“Oh.” Charlotte held her breath for a moment. “They- they were already told.”

Marvin blinked rapidly. “Wait..” he rubbed his eyes. “You told my family before you told me?”

“Yes.” She sat back into her chair, shoulders tense again.

“You- So, my _son_ and my _boyfriend_ knew I was dying before I did? You burdened Whizzer with the knowledge that I was dying too?”

Charlotte exhaled, said nothing.

“ _God._ Why?”

“Honest answer?”

Marvin scoffed. “Uh, _yeah._ ”

“We’re working our hardest. We have no idea whether you could just collapse in an instant. What if you’re dead just like that?” - she snapped her fingers - “What do we tell them? ‘Oh, by the way, your father, friend, boyfriend just died because he had a disease we didn’t tell you about?’ It only made sense to us for them to know before you. And I get that that feels like betrayal. But we only know as much as you do and we’re trying to make the smartest decision we can.”

Marvin sighed and put his head in his hands. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that. I mean, I would have preferred to _not_ further depress Whizzer, but it makes sense.”

“He needs to know too. The same way you want to know every update we have on him.”

He nodded. 

Charlotte tapped her nails on the desk. “I’m sorry, Marvin.”

Marvin shrugged. “I don’t really feel like talking anymore. I’m gonna go see Whizzer.”

“Okay. We’re always here.”

“Yeah, I know.”

The elevator ride was deafening silence. His thoughts were so slow, they almost didn’t exist.

Death was imminent and unavoidable. Now he had to live with that knowledge. His mortality was obvious and vulnerable. And there was nothing he could do.

Whizzer was laying down and staring at the ceiling when Marvin entered. 

“Hey baby.” Marvin whispered.

Whizzer cracked a smile. “Hi. Charlotte talk to you yet?”

“Yep.”

“Mm. How are you?”

“Short version? Fucked up.”

Whizzer cough-laughed. “Yeah. Same, doll. Lay with me?”

Marvin sighed and nodded. “Always.”

The hospital blanket was thin and small and cold. The same could be said about Whizzer. But Marvin cuddled in and closed his eyes.

He wondered if the sun would still shine as brightly in the morning, if it knew everyone it saw would die eventually.

The sun knew Cleopatra. It knew George Washington and Elvis Presley.

How long until Marvin and Whizzer were a “knew” and not a “know?”


End file.
